Have you ever wondered why you are struggling to create a change? Let’s face it change can be hard. However, change is not impossible. Sometimes we feel like change is what we want, but it’s not happening. Here are some pointers about, the brain, relationships, and how it contributes to change.

Neurons That Fire Together Wire Together: What does that mean? Behaviors, thoughts, and feelings reflect the circuits of neurons in the brain. In other words, we are wired for habit (patterns and prior experiences). The first step to breaking free of negative patterns starts with recognizing your patterns. The next step starts with being accountable. Being accountable means taking responsibility. Taking responsibility will help empower your choice-making skills. Then you want to check your emotions because unchecked emotions will lead you right back to your original starting place. Also, make sure to extract the lesson. Whatever the situation is, there is always something to be learned. Finally, make a different choice. Remember to respond to the situation instead of reacting

Psychotherapy Changes The Brain: Individual persons/individual brains do not function in isolation. Changes in neuroplasticity occur as a result of practice or experience. Which results in new learning and memory. Therefore, let’s get started today to create new patterns. Creating new patterns can help lead to that change you are looking for.

Human Brain and Relationships: Our Relationships as infants set the stage for continuing relationships across a lifespan. A parent’s state of mind concerning attachment is the most powerful predictor of how the parent-child relationship will evolve. Did you know that the individual at greatest risk of developing significant psychiatric disturbances are those with disorganized/disoriented attachment and unresolved trauma and grief? Our nervous system and bodily state are deeply interwoven by trophallaxis (sensory exchange and social signals to create a response). Therefore, a sense of “self” emerges from the mind. In other words, identity is shaped by our relationships.

Habits and Change: Did you know that energy in the brain is primary in the form of electrochemical energy flow as ions move in and out of membranes of the neuron during the action potential? In other words, information that enters consciousness is important because consciousness permits choice and change. Being conscious can influence the outcome of emotional processing. To create that desired change, conscious choices must take place. More often than not, we repeat cycles because we repeat past choices. Most of the time people tend to react to a situation instead of thoughtfully responding to the situation. When you start to evaluate circumstances through lenses of clarity, you can begin to see and therefore, make different choices. The decisions may be uncomfortable, but that willingness to stretch will present new outcomes. 

5 Steps to Creating Change

1. Awareness: Change begins with awareness, and admittedly, being objectively aware can be challenging. Creating awareness starts with aligning your values, beliefs, and personality. To create awareness, you need to know yourself.
2. Desire: Think about a time when someone was trying to change you. Up until you noticed the value of creating the change, you most likely resisted or made a surface change to soothe the person, but it wasn’t a sincere or permanent change. People change only when they decide to make the change themselves.
3. Knowledge: Knowing your desire, your why, opens you up to accepting the what and the how. Knowing the how gives us confidence and support.
4. Action: The more you do something, the easier it is to keep doing it, whether good or bad. You can’t succeed if you don’t do anything. By maintaining the action, you are setting yourself up for a greater chance of hitting your goals without being too detailed and overplaying the plan
5. Perseverance: Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success. It doesn’t matter what your goal is or how long it takes you to reach that goal. The chances of your success depend largely on your willingness to persist and persevere.